


I see you, I hear you

by Anonymous



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angry Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz Takes Care of Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Worried Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: After Maddie reveals the Buckley family secret, Buck takes his rage out on the punching bag yet again.Eddie intervenes when his friend's rage overcomes him.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65
Collections: Anonymous





	I see you, I hear you

Eddie stood at the door of the gym, watching silently as Buck pummeled the punching bag. His friend hadn't let up in the last hour. Worry left a knot in Eddie's stomach as he watched Buck release his frustration and hurt on the bag. A whirlwind of angry uncoordinated blows that showed no sign of ending anytime soon.

Sensing he wasn't alone, Eddie looked away from his friend to see Bobby had paused beside him. The older man was watching Buck, his face reflecting Eddie's concern. "Have you tried talking to him?" asked Bobby. Eddie gave a short nod, " it's hopeless", he said, frustration lacing his voice. 

Eddie had tried reaching out the day before, and Buck had blown him off with a sarcastic statement of not needing any more therapy. He had tried to intervene with a gentle caution about hitting things not being a good road to take. Yesterday Eddie had thought his words had gotten throw, but then today, Buck had come to work with a story of his dead brother. He had quickly made his way to the gym, brushing off Eddie's attempt to talk to him and had laid into the bag in a fit of rage.

Usually, Buck wore his heart on his sleeve. Eddie never had to work to get him to talk. He had never seen his friend angry like this, and it honestly scared him. He watched as Buck took another kick at the bag, losing his balance and falling hard. He heard his friend's curse and watched Buck scramble to his feet with a bellow of rage and surge forward, laying into the bag harder, and Eddie was moving forward. He had to stop this, had to intervene because he knew from experience just where this could lead. 

"Buck", he said sharply, and Buck spun. " What the hell do you want, Eddie?" he snarled, "I told you yesterday I don't need any more bloody therapy". Eddie raised his eyebrow at him, " yeah, clearly you don't need any more therapy", he shot out sarcastically. His comment only served to enrage the other man more as Buck laid into the bag again, ignoring Eddie. Eddie shot out his hand, stopping the bag for the second time in two days mid-swing. 

Buck paused, his whole body vibrating with rage and an anxious tension that Eddie knew only too well. "Move", snapped Buck, " I'm fine, just go away, leave me alone". Eddie laughed, "yeah, you're fine", he said, " Sure you are". He observed Buck, seeing the blank look that came over his face. "What do you care anyway?" snapped his friend. Eddie didn't respond to that, just holding the bag firmly. 

He wasn't surprised when Buck physically shoved him. He knew this game all too well. Buck was itching for a fight, an outlet for the anger and punching bags don't hit back. Buck advanced on him, and Eddie released his hold on the bag now; Buck's attention was solely on him. He held his ground, a calm presence in the face of Buck's rage. " Buck, stop", he said firmly, "you're going to hurt yourself".

Buck's nostrils flared as he panted, stepping closer. " Why do you suddenly care," he asked again, his voice growing louder. Eddie planted his feet, refusing to give way or move as Buck shoved at him. He still didn't react as Buck released his rage onto him, keeping his face a mask of calm. Buck switched tactic, "come on Eddie, you can say it", he taunted, "I'm making this about me, why can't I just suck it up, huh I know your dying to say it". 

Eddie refused to rise to the bait, ", you have a right to be angry, and this is about how you feel," he answered. Buck huffed out a hollow angry laugh, "so I'm allowed to be mad about my parents but almost dying three times and wanting to come back to work, to my family, I should suck it up. What gives you the right to decide when I can be angry?", he snarled shoving Eddie again. 

Eddie just raised an eyebrow at him, unmoving and still calm as he answered, "You have a right to be angry at all of it, ok. I get it; it's one set back to another for you for the last few years. But back then, you were opening a lawsuit without even talking to us about how you were feeling or another solution, and now you're pounding the shit out of a punching bag and shutting us all out. That's not your answer to any of this, Buck". 

Buck only got more aggregated at Eddie's words. " Worked for you", he spat, making direct eye contact. Eddie let out a huff of laughter, "yeah, and we both know how that turned out for me", he shot back, " I'm trying to stop my best friend from going down the same path". Buck snorted, "best friend", he repeated his voice sarcastic, "look, Eddie, you can drop the act, you can't be bothered with me, I'm exhausting remember, just go". 

Eddie maintained eye contact, refusing to back down no matter how much Buck tried to push him away. " So why am I here?" he challenged. Buck shoved him again, failing to move Eddie even an inch but staggering himself exhausted from the intense work out on the bag. Eddie raised his hand instinctively to steady him, realising his mistake when Buck's fist connected with his jaw. "Alright, sorry, sorry easy Buck",, murmured Eddie. The punch hadn't hurt, Buck far too tired and uncoordinated for any real force to go behind it, and it had been Eddie's mistake. He knew from experience when someone was in the state of mind Buck was currently in, touching them was a bad idea.

His words had the opposite effect. " What?" screamed Buck, "not going hit me back, Eddie, huh?. He swung at Eddie again, punching his fists into his chest, only getting more worked up as Eddie neither moved nor swung back. " Come on, Eddie, you've been dying to take a swing at me for years nows your chance", he yelled, "ever since I lost your son in that tsunami and then abandoned you both". Eddie finally moved, worried more about Buck hurting himself than him. He reached out quickly, seizing his friend's wrists and restraining him. 

Buck fought against his hold, his voice getting louder as he yelled angry words and tried to free himself. Eddie used his greater strength to push him against the wall, using his arm across his chest to restrain him. " Boys", he heard Hen's worried voice and glancing behind him, he saw the rest of the team hovering at the gym door, attracted by the shouting. It was Bobby who spoke, "let them be", he ordered, leading everyone away. Eddie turned his attention back to Buck.

" Let me go",, snapped the younger man struggling in his hold. Eddie shook his head, holding firm. "Buck, enough stop this",, he said. Buck cursed, struggling wildly, and Eddie's chest hurt as he watched his best friend and clearly saw all his pain. " Buck, stop", he tried again, giving him a sharp shake. "Hey Buck, Evan enough ok, I see you, ok I see you, and I hear you". His words had an immediate effect on his friend, all the fight drained out of him, and his eyes widened in shock before filling with tears. 

Eddie loosened his grip slightly, watching his face carefully. He knew he had hit the nail on the head by Buck's reaction to his words. Just a quiet acknowledgement that he could see and hear Buck and the pain he was in was enough for all the fight to leave his friend. Because Eddie knew ultimately this was what all this was about. Years of pain locked up inside from emotionally absent parents who, in the face of their own grief, couldn't see their son's desperate need to be seen, to be heard by them. And then the one person who Buck had thought he could always depend on, who saw him clearly, had yanked the carpet from beneath his feet by revealing they had been lying to him his whole life. 

Eddie was pissed at Maddie for doing this to Buck. He knew she had been in a terrible situation, but she had utterly unravelled her brother's life last night with this revelation. Buck let out a choked sob pulling free of Eddie's lose grip and sinking to the floor. Eddie slid down beside him, and reaching out, he wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him against him. Buck tensed, and Eddie wondered if he had made the wrong move. But then Buck brought his arms up to cling to him and buried his face in Eddie's chest. Eddie held him closer, and he could feel the wet patch on his tee-shirt as Buck broke down.

Eddie didn't speak, just tightening his arm around Buck. He raised his free hand to the back of his friends head, stroking through his sweat-soaked hair. When Buck finally pulled back, Eddie's shirt was soaked. Eddie didn't pass comment on the breakdown, not wanting to embarrass him and risk him shutting down on him again. He climbed to his feet and offered his hand to Buck, pulling him to his feet. Leading him out of the gym, he gave the rest of the team a look, a silent warning now to crowd Buck with their well-intentioned concern. 

Directing him toward the showers, Eddie patted him on the shoulder. " Go shower, get changed", he said. When Buck nodded and left, Eddie turned to Bobby, "Can you spare the both of us, Bobby, for the day". Bobby didn't miss a beat, "go ahead",, he allowed. He went to say more, but Eddie interrupted, " I'll call you later", he said, and Bobby nodded.

When Eddie sunk onto the couch, Chimney approached him. "Eddie", the other man began wringing his hands anxiously, " Is he ok?". Eddie gave him a cool look, "does he look ok, Chim" he asked bluntly. Chimney looked down, " I wanted to tell him",, he said softly, "but it wasn't my place and Maddie….." he trailed off. Eddie looked up, " but it was your place to tell the bomber", he said, his words clipped. He saw Chimney flinch and couldn't summon any sympathy. Eddie had put two and two together as soon as Buck had revealed the family secret. The bombers strange words, Chimney's haste to remove him it all made sense now. 

Chimney looked stricken, "does he know?" he asked. Eddie shrugged, " if he does, he hasn't mentioned it", he said. Chimney sunk into a chair with his head in his hands, "I just couldn't hold it inside; all of it was too much". Eddie refused to feel bad at man's distress much as he cared about Chimney; Buck was his priority right now. " Your energy would of being better spent convincing Maddie to tell him sooner", he said coolly. Chimney raised his head at Maddie's name, "he needs to call her Eddie; she wants to speak to him". Eddie shook his head, " he'll call her when he's ready, not before", he said curtly.

Buck emerged from the shower, wondering over. Eddie gave him a subtle look over; he looked slightly better. He was no longer vibrating through his skin, at least, but it had been replaced by a look of pure exhaustion. "Bobby's given us the rest of the day off", said Eddie, " We're going back to mine, but you need to go and speak to Bobby before we go". When Buck didn't argue about taking the day off or speaking to Bobby and just nodded, heading towards the office, Eddie knew just how wore out he was.

When Buck returned, Eddie got up and led him outside. "What he want?" he asked; Buck slid down on the seat, " he told me to take a few days off," he said. Eddie was half expecting an angry tirade about how he was fine to work, so he was surprised when Buck looked down. "He's right. I'm not in the right headspace to work at the moment". Eddie nodded, glad Buck could at least recognise that fact.

They pulled up at Eddie's house, and Buck trailed his hands over his face taking a deep breath. "It's ok", said Eddie, "Chris is at a sleepover; it's just us". Buck nodded; following him into the house, Eddie went to the kitchen and busied himself reheating pasta from the night before. He split it into two bowls and opened the fridge. Deciding against offering Buck beer, he pulled two bottles of water and carried them and the pasta into the living room where Buck had sunk onto the couch. Eddie set the water bottles on the table and handed Buck one of the bowls of pasta. Buck took it, " thanks, but I'm not really hungry". Eddie throws him a look, "eat", he said firmly.

They ate in silence; when they finished, Buck collected bowls and headed into the kitchen. Eddie heard the water running and let him be to wash up. Buck's phone rang again, and Eddie glanced over at where it sat on the arm of the couch. He sighed, seeing from his notifications he had over thirty missed calls from Maddie. Buck finally reappeared after taking a ridiculous amount of time to wash two bowls. " Eddie, I'm sorry", he said quietly, sinking down on the other side of the couch. Eddie glanced at him, "for?" he prompted. Buck let out a heavy sigh, "for not listening to you, for trying to imply you didn't care, for hitting you, you were right, it's not the answer". Eddie reached out to squeeze his shoulder, " don't sweat it, you were upset; it's fine", he said simply. 

The silence stretched between them until Eddie's phone began to ring. Pulling it out of pocket, he saw Maddie's name. Buck had glanced over, "unbelievable", he said, his voice venomous, " now she's calling you". Eddie shrugged, making eye contact, "she's worried about you", he pointed out gently, " I know you're angry with her, and you have a right to be, but you can't deny that Maddie cares about you". Buck just scowled, and Eddie's phone began to ring again. Buck's eyes widened, a look of betrayal coming over his face as Eddie answered the call. Eddie kept his voice calm, "hello Maddie, Buck's with me at my house, no, don't come over. He doesn't want to speak to you, I'm only letting you know he's ok, give him some space, he'll call you when he's ready to talk", Eddie hung off the call, " there as simple as that", he said to Buck.

Buck nodded, "thanks", he muttered, sliding down on the couch and rubbing at his eyes. Eddie stood, " c'mon", he said, "you need to sleep, you can take my bed". Buck stood up, following him upstairs, " Eddie, you don't need to do this, I'm fine, and I'm not tired". Eddie laughed, "not tired, my ass", he retorted, " you need to get some sleep, you're going to be busy tomorrow, your babysitting for me". Buck looked at him, "you're leaving me to look after Christopher?". Eddie nodded, giving him an amused look and tossing him sleep clothes, " I told you before, it's easy. He's not very fast". Buck sighed, beginning to change, "Eddie, I behaved like a complete  
psychopath today, and you're leaving me with your kid?". 

Eddie nodded, " I think I also told you before that there's no one in this world I trust more with my son than you, and that hasn't changed", he said, meeting Buck's eye. He gestured to the bed, "c'mon in; you get", he said. Buck climbed in, and Eddie tucked the blanket around him, earning a startled laugh from Buck. " Eddie, you're Dad's showing", he teased, and Eddie was glad to hear him laughing. "Who's babysitting who tomorrow?" asked Buck, " am I babysitting Chris, or is he babysitting me?".

Eddie chuckled, "both of my boys are gonna take care of each other", he said, " it will be good for you; no one sees or hears you clearer than Chris; you're his Buck, his hero.". Buck smiled softly, half asleep despite his protest of not being tired "he's a great kid", he murmured, then in a lower tone, " his Dad's not half bad either". Eddie smirked, "not half bad?" he asked, "gee, thanks is that all I get?", his teasing went on deaf ears as Buck was fast asleep. Eddie smiled and couldn't help but press a gentle kiss to Buck's forehead before creeping out of the room. 

Sinking onto the couch, Eddie reached for his phone sending Bobby a quick text informing him Buck was safe and sleeping. Eddie yawned, exhausted himself; part of him had being tempted to crawl into bed beside Buck, but his friend was so vulnerable at the moment. Eddie knew if he got into bed with him, he might risk disclosing his less than platonic feelings for his best friend, and now wasn't the right time. Their time would come, but for now, his friend needed time and support to come to terms with the bombshell his sister had dropped on him. Eddie checked the time and grabbing a blanket he borrowed into the couch to get a few hours sleep before his nine-year-old tornado of energy was dropped home.


End file.
